the ghost girl sews her future self

March 12, 2007

Taller this time, less tragic, fuller lips,
near-bursting like the day I died.
The brain is delicate work:
one cunning pattern and the fabric
will weave itself. She studies nearby mountains,
laughs and looks to tors, shuddering
at their spidery trees. Age comes to us all,
she sighs, and sketches bone. The needle
thrusts; her angel winces, patient as cloth.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “the ghost girl sews her future self”

  1. Scavella said

    A couple of points on this — take them or leave them as you like.

    As you know, I like this, beginning with the title, which packed the kind of punch that made me trek over here to read the poem, and the last line is a killer. I have one point, though: you don’t need the second “last time”, and I think the piece would be stronger without it. Think about it.

    Cheers.

  2. Yes, I had exactly the same misgivings about ‘last time’. The idea was that it speaks of her growing weariness with incarnation, but you are probably right. Actually you are definitely right; it goes. Thanks so much, Scavella.

    Yes, to be frank, my titles are usually not attention grabbers and I probably don’t put enough work into them. I often use generic titles as a sort of capitulation – I’m saying ‘I know this has been done, but it’s still relevant and now I’m doing it’. But the other day after writing Iliad, I thought to myself ‘does the world really need another poem about the Iliad, given that the Iliad itself was fairly definitive?’. So I’m going for a quirkier palette at the moment.

    endlessly

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: